You wake up tired, pour the coffee, and wonder when you stopped feeling like you. I get it. I’ve been there. But here’s the truth: You’re not done yet– you’re being refined for something even stronger.
When did life get so damned hard! Not only are we going through perimenopause but we’re also raising teenagers (did not plan that well did we?) Our bodies are changing, we can’t sleep and the joints….why do they hurt all the time?!
Why do we think we can do this alone? All it does is end in heartache and tears. In an effort to help myself and my family survive this trying time, I decided to simply my life as much as possible. I’m working on taking out all the stressors I can control and living in the day I’m in, finding gratitude and leaning on God.
This is how it all started: My husband and I both lost our jobs in the span of 2 years. Thank God we had no debt, not counting our mortgage, and had a savings of about 6 months saved. He also received a severance package which helped so what could have been a drowning nightmare turned into an inconvenience. We started finding work through self-employment and miraculously the funds came in, just enough to pay our bills, tuition for private school and a little extra.
Now the husband is back at work full time (health insurance is what drove us), and I’m still trying to figure out how to do this life. After chasing the dollar and prestige at work just to be laid off like that, we realized there has to be more to life than working and slaving away at a high stress job that could be lost in a moment’s notice. Where were we putting our identity anyway? If everything was taken from us, who are we? That’s the question we asked ourselves. In the end, we discovered that we are children of God, bottom line. We are here to glorify Him in whatever tasks he assigns us and He is our provider, not employers and not the government. With that we started thinking about things a lot differently.
I thought about what I would like to do if I was “retired”. I can’t just sit around and do nothing, that’s boring and just leads to decay. That’s when it hit me that I love exercising and learning about nutrition. How about a personal trainer! I’m good with people, I can teach and I am very detailed oriented. If I’m already passionate about it, then it won’t seem like a job that I have to eventually “retire” from. So hello ISSA where I became a certified personal trainer and am now working to branch out in this new field.
Here are some other areas I decided to de-stress:
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- Nutrition
All these fad diets are so COMPLICATED!!! Yes some diets can be good to kick start a new eating habit but if it’s not realistic then you will fall right back to where you were. It just can’t be this difficult. In the Bible, God created plants for us to eat and it was good. He allowed us to eat animals and it was good. Everything created for us is to connect us back to God. Therefore, I’ve come to the conclusion that if we stick with whole foods, created by God and not by man, then it is good! Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full–simple!
Women need 25 grams of fiber per day and about 1-2 grams of protein per 2.2 lbs of body weight daily. Just trying to hit those numbers alone will pretty much get you where you need to be with your daily diet. Legumes and grains are the best source of fiber but of course fruits and vegetables also help. Here’s a secret: use chatgpt to come up with a weekly menu for you to do what’s realistic and includes whole foods that you like!
Have a sweet tooth? Shoot for dates with peanut butter or apples with peanut butter and some chocolate chips.
2. Finances
Finances are a HUGE cause of stress and the number one cause of divorce in the U.S. Getting out of debt and living off of less than you make is the secret to financial peace. My husband and I went through Financial Peace University in 2021 and never looked back. Did you know the Bible talks about finances and money more than any other topic? We can’t do what God has called us to do with the resources he has provided us if we’re having to hand it over in payments every month. We have decided for our family not to use credit cards and we have done this successfully for 4 years. We do a budget, have an emergency fund of at least 6 months and live on less than we make. If we want to make a purchase or prepare for the holidays, we start saving money to pay for those things. We also have to say “ba-bye” to immediate gratification and wait for some things. Sometimes, change happens in the waiting and we decide we don’t need X-Y-Z like we thought we did. We save up and pay for our vehicles with cash, pay for vacations with cash, pay for Christmas with cash. This allows us to send our daughter to a private school which has served her well. My credit score is 0 and has been for years and it has not affected my ability to purchase what we need.
Also, I’m sure you’ve noticed that whole foods tend to be cheaper than processed 🙂
3. Minimalism
I have worked to have more of a minimalist mindset. I learned about minimalism from The Minimalists, 2 guys who tour the country showing us that we have too much stuff! We blow our resources on things we don’t need, we don’t find value in just because we want them! This leads to debts and guess what? Stress!! I sold some of our stuff that was just sitting in the basement for no reason, cleaned out rooms and cabinets. The decluttering really helped me feel calm and decluttered in my mind, almost therapeutic! This is me, the rest of my family is not super on board with this approach so we have to have open communication about it for sure. The minimalism isn’t just with things though, it works with food (ahem, menu planning), relationships, jobs, all the things!
This life and world will try to overwhelm you and take from you what you give it. YOU have to decide how you are going to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Control what you can control and set boundaries for things and people you cannot.